Post by STEVIE RAE ST. JAMES on Nov 18, 2010 20:18:09 GMT -7
stephanie rae st. james
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FULL NAME: stephanie rae st. james.
AGE: seventeen.
PREFERENCE: straight.
HOMETOWN: los angeles, ca.
CLASS STATUS: upper class.
CURRENT STATUS: single.
MEMBER GROUP: actress.
PLAY BY: selena gomez.
[/size]"ten things you didn't know about me:
- pickles are my favorite food. ever. i don't care if you think it's gross, i think they're delicious and i could eat them plain every day of the week and twice on sundays.
- dance is my passion. i've danced since i was a little girl. my mother's a dancer, and she taught me, and i've loved it ever since.
- i love my dad. i really do, i mean he's my dad, and i have to. but he hates me. a lot. and it hurts, even if i pretend it doesn't.
- music is also my passion. no, i don't have alicia keys vocals. i'm okay with that. music means everything to me, and if i want to sing along to a song despite the fact that i sound like a dying cow, i will.
- i'm a manic depressive. that is, i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. when i was about eight. and i do believe that it was introduced environmentally. not that it was inherited.
- i don't get in fights with people. i just don't do it. i think it's retarded so when i start to argue i just say "I'M A BITCH" over and over until they shut up.
- i don't like to swear. sometimes i do, but only if i'm really angry or want it to mean something. i think there are better ways to express yourself in everyday language.
- everyone knows that my mother's dead. that she committed suicide. but nobody knows that it's because of me.
- my dad is kind of a whore.
- i nerd dance when i'm happy. yes, i've won national awards for dancing. but i can still do that little dance that makes you look extremely stupid. i love it.
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"the higher you climb, the harder you fall. and trust me, you always fall."
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telephone conversation with best friend:
jude: why is there a cake on my doorstep?
stevie: i don't know what you are talking about..
jude: I SAW YOU RUNNING AWAY, and i opened my door, and there is a cake with a smiley face there.
stevie: DO YOU ASK GOD WHY HE GAVE YOU LIFE? NO. YOU JUST ACCEPT THE GIFT.
jude: so you're god?
stevie: oh my lanta. do you WANT to get beat up?
jude: yes please.
stevie: i'm turning around, right now, and coming to beat you.
jude: sooooo scared, oh my god, pleaaase don't hurt me stevie, pleeeease!! PS you just said "turning around," so that means you were here..? YOU LOSE.
jude: sttevvieee? hello?
stevie: i just stole your neighbor's baseball bat. i think i'll beat your head into a pancake....
jude: gosh, you're so violent.
stevie: and you are DEAD! -click-
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-------my dearest father,
i think i should hate you. but i don't hate you, that sounds kind of crazy because of all that you've done to me but you've also done a lot for me, like i wouldn't be where i am without you..i mean i wouldn't be alive first of all, but i wouldn't be acting or doing anything i loved without you. and i know all the terrible things you've done are only because of the alcohol because i remember what you were like before mom died, and i'm sorry, i really am and i know it's my fault..i know i should have stopped her and i shouldn't have told her that..i shouldn't have told her, i mean it wasn't even a big deal, you hit her a few times too but only when you were angry and it was okay but i just scared her, and i'm sorry, i'm so, so sorry. i really am, and i know you don't believe me and that's why you hate me, but i really am trying my best i swear to god, i am, i'm sorry when i mess up and i know i should know better and i'm just sorry..i really am, and i'm sorry i'm still wearing this purity ring but what would people think if i took it off? everyone at church? it just wouldn't seem right, and people would notice and ask questions and i don't think i could lie to them and say i did that, like i did that because i wanted to and with a boy i liked because it's not true and i can't do that, ever, it's disgusting and i know you wouldn't do it if it wasn't for the alcohol and i'm just sorry, it's all my fault, all of it is, i'm just so, so sorry and i don't know how else to say it and as much as i wish you would read this letter and know how i feel, you never will because i'm ripping it up less than ten seconds after i finish writing it. i'm sorry, i really am and i don't know, i wish you knew how sorry i really am and everytime i try to tell you you just..hit me or yell at me and i just don't know what to do anymore. i love you, i really do, and i know you're in there somewhere. i love you...yeah. okay. bye.
--------------------------------------------------your daughter, stephanie.
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once upon a time there was a girl named stephanie. she was born on october second of the year 1993, and that now makes her seventeen years old. she was born to her father, christopher st. james and her mother, cecelia abney. they were not married, nor engaged, and they didn't get married until their daughter, nicknamed stevie, was three. christopher was a successful and well known movie producer, and stevie was on the tv since she was fifteen months old. from diaper commercials, to the role of a main character's child in a six-season television show, and to where she was today, starring in a popular, teen tv show. throughout stevie's childhood, her parents fought. rarely did they get along. christopher was a very angry drunk, and he drank fairly often. when he got angry, he would hit cecelia or stevie. though until she left them, cecelia would protect her daughter from her father's angry beatings. but, when stevie was fourteen, she said something to her mother. she said that her father had touched her multiple times, and the previous night he had gotten in bed with her for the first time. when she told her mother this, she became very quiet. stevie didn't understand what she was feeling. that evening, while christopher was staying late at work, or out drinking, or who knows what, cecelia came into stevie's room with a gun in her hand. stevie was half asleep when her mother woke her, sitting down on the bed beside her. she'd set the gun on her lap and started talking to stevie. at first she spoke encouraging words, but it led on into depressing thoughts. cecelia had said the only way out was to do this, and that they would do it together, and go to heaven together. when stevie argued that that was a sin, her mother shushed her and told her god would forgive people that were in their position. despite stevie's hopes to change her mother's mind, she hot herself in the head. right before she did so, she told her daughter she'd see her on the other side. stevie sat there for the longest time, her mother's blood spattered on her and the gun in her hands. she put it to her head, and pulled the trigger. as it turns out, her mother had only loaded the gun with one bullet. her father certainly had reason to blame stephanie because she had every chance to stop her mother - or that's what she thought. she blames herself, too. without cecelia in the house, christopher began drinking more and more. it wasn't as hidden, he'd half a bottle of vodka in his hand and take shots straight out of it, just walking around the house. the sexual abuse from the evening prior to cecelia's suicide repeated, multiple times. as did the physical abuse. christopher and stevie moved to las vegas when she was sixteen, to start the filming of the new tv show she was in. her father worked in the offices of a new movie production crew in vegas, and things worked out well. things cooled down the first few months after they moved, her father drank less and the abuse almost vanished completely from her daily life. slowly but surely, his drinking spiked a little more each day, as did the abuse. when stevie had first settled into their new home, a neighbor came over. he introduced himself as jude macauley, and the two became good friends almost instantly. they've never been anything but good friends, or even thought about being more than that. she found it difficult to explain the bruises here and there on her body, especially when they were on her face, arms or legs. anywhere that could be seen by the people in wardrobe. she'd often gone with the lie, "i don't remember how i could've gotten that!" though that wasn't a total lie, it was fibbing slightly. all of the beatings seemed to blend together, and she found herself struggling to remember where a certain bruise had appeared from. though the nights christopher spent in her bedroom didn't really blend at all. she remembered them perfectly. "
hiiiie i think we know eva?
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hiiieee, i'm eva. i turned sixteen this september and i
live in the central time zone. i've been roleplaying for
five years, and i found i wanna know your name through
jess! you can contact me through pm, and msn, if you ask
me for it. i'm using selena gomez. c: